If you are like me, then learning to have self-confidence has been a long journey and you still don’t quite feel as though you have it. It takes effort and doesn’t always come with the results that you hope, but the good news is that it can be learned.
As much as you might have heard that confidence is a trait that you are either born with or not, it is actually not true. Unfortunate circumstances and role models throughout your life have aided in your feelings of uncertainty and told you the lie that you can’t be confident, but you can!
Of course, simply knowing that you can be confident doesn’t actually help you as it is not like you can just flip a switch and all of a sudden know how to be confident. How do you know if what I am telling you is actually true? Well, the only true way is by knowing what steps you can take each day, implementing them and seeing the difference they make in how you feel.
Because I want to see you feel more confident in yourself and make the change to better your life, I am going to give you 7 steps that you can take each day in order to boost your self-confidence.
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1. Give A Compliment
You might have read that learning to accept a compliment will help you gain confidence in yourself. But I actually believe that it’s learning to give a compliment that will truly cause you to feel more confident, and here’s why.
Learning to accept a compliment is super important, and it does affect the way you feel about yourself. In essence, it helps to improve your self-esteem. But self-esteem and self-confidence aren’t exactly the same thing.
Having a positive self-esteem shows how you feel about yourself overall and refers to how much self-love you embody on a daily basis, whereas self-confidence refers to how you feel in your abilities about something. You can have confidence in your abilities while having low self-esteem and vice versa.
If you feel that you don’t have the ability to be liked by others then you can learn tips on how to be more personable and in doing so you can gain confidence.
Learning to actively give a compliment helps you to step out of your comfort zone. It has a positive effect on others almost 100% of the time and is something that you are able to trust as a way to be seen in a positive light.
I know for myself and many others that I know personally when I don’t feel confident in something I tend to close up and not want to speak. I don’t want to appear stupid or wrong. This is the beauty of giving a compliment, how can you be wrong or look stupid? Well, you pretty much can’t. This challenges you to speak up and use your own voice in a way that you might not find that comfortable at first, but with knowing that you are unlikely of failing you will succeed and therefore gain confidence.
2. Learn Something New
One wonderful and sure-fire way to help boost your confidence is through knowledge, knowledge of anything you choose to learn about.
This particular thing plagued me for so long. I was always told by those that wished to hurt me that I was not smart. I was made to feel that I had nothing to offer. It’s too bad that I listened to them for as long as I did but at least now I know better.
Because I believed the lie that I was not smart, I avoided learning. I didn’t read up on anything in books or listen to any speakers. I didn’t branch out of what I already sort of knew. And in doing so I never felt confident in my brain. I was scared that any time I opened my mouth that something stupid would come out.
Eventually, I decided that I was not going to be held back from these lies and started to learn about things instead. Now I love to read about things that I would have never known otherwise and in doing so I can take part in conversations about these subjects.
Knowing that I have a bounty of knowledge I can feel confident in myself when I engage with others.
I encourage you to find a way to learn something new each day. Be creative. You can start working through the dictionary and learn one word a day, or subscribe to a daily facts blog. Find a book and work through one chapter a night. Every time you come across something you read that you don’t know what’s it is, take a moment right there to find out instead of overlooking it and continue reading.
The more you realize how much you have learned then the more confident you will feel.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
This week I watched an interview with Marie Forleo and Tim Ferriss that was about overcoming fears by working through the little ones first.
Tim explained that he was trying an experiment to break out of his comfort zone in order to realize that having expectations on what our appearance is doesn’t really matter in the big picture. That it’s not important overall in our lives, yet we let it affect us so heavily.
What I loved the most about what he said was that it was teaching him to be more confident in who he was instead of what people expect of him.
You see confidence won’t come from looking like anyone else or simply looking different from how you look now, it will come when you choose to feel proud of the body and mind you have simply because it is yours.
Every time you compare yourself to others you are shaming yourself. You are telling yourself that you are not good enough.
Your body has its own personal story that makes up what it looks like now and whether you have a perfectly “flawless” body or a perfectly “flawed” body, it is only yours to own. The more “flaws” you have only shows the strength within you for all that you have been through.
Take time every day to remind yourself that your body is only yours and that it is uniquely beautiful.
To see the interview with Marie Forleo and Tim Ferriss click HERE.
4. Hold Your Head High
Have you ever wondered how someone can walk into a room without saying a word and you just know that they are confident? My guess is that they are doing one simple thing-holding their head up high.
Naturally when you don’t feel so confident and are especially feeling “on the spot” your first reaction is to put your head down or to look at your feet. Maybe you never noticed before that you did this but now you will.
This reaction tends to happen when you feel intimidated by someone or a group of people.
You can start to gain more confidence by simply choosing to go against what your natural reaction is in the moment and be bold instead. As soon as you feel the pull to put your head down, lift it up higher.
The more you do this you will find that the fear behind this will start to go away. You will become more aware of people’s reactions to you and likely will be drawn more towards you.
People are naturally drawn to a more confident person, and you can be that person by starting with this one simple thing.
You can challenge yourself even further by making a conscious effort to look in people’s eyes more when they are talking to you, when you are talking to them or when you catch each other’s eyes from across a room. You can even add a warm smile to the mix to show that you are a nice person. All of this together and you are no doubt going to come off as one of the most confident people in the room.
5. Set Small Goals That Are Easy To Achieve
Doesn’t it feel so good when you accomplish something? You feel proud of yourself and start thinking about what you can accomplish next. Completing a goal of yours brings you confidence and that means that the more goals you accomplish then the more confidence you can feel.
If you make a point to set one achievable goal for yourself each day, then you have the opportunity to feed your self-confidence in a big way. Think about how confident you will feel after a week or month of completing a goal every day!
Try making a list of all the little things that you would like to do that you can realistically see fitting into your everyday life. Maybe you want to make time to have coffee with a friend, something that you keep thinking about doing but you find that another week is down and you still haven’t done it. Put it on your list. Or maybe you want to sign up to start an exercise class but you have been held back by tiredness. Put it on your list.
Once you have made a list of all the little things that you would like to accomplish, put an item on each day of your calendar so that you make sure to complete it. After a week of completing goals, take note of how good it feels to have done all of those things and how much more confident you feel for doing so.
6. Feed Your Body
There is nothing that helps you feel more confident than how you feel about your body. While having a positive mindset about your body, loving its flaws and all, is great for your confidence and self-esteem, it is equally as important to feed your body with goodness.
Having a healthy body helps feed your mind, you will feel more energy, better in your clothes, stronger, and less likely to get sick.
You can feed your body in two main ways – healthy diet and exercise.
Unfortunately just one of these is not enough. They work together in order to keep balance to your body.
I recommend making a food lifestyle change. This is more than a diet. It is about finding the foods that work best for your body and implementing a food plan that you finding easy to stick to because you aren’t feeling deprived and you enjoy what you are eating. With this lifestyle change, you will be changing your food intake for the rest of your life but are able to flex and leave areas for treats and special occasions, unlike a diet which is hard to get through and doesn’t necessarily create lasting change.
Plan times to exercise. There are many great options out there for exercise so you don’t have to expect just running on a treadmill for hours (which we all hate). My personal favourites are Zumba and Pilates. Find something you enjoy that you can put on your calendar to look forward to.
Once you have established a healthy diet and exercise into your daily life I guarantee that you will feel better about your body and more confident.
7. Remind Yourself Of Your Worth
In my Taking The Right Steps To Improve Your Self Esteem blog post, I talk about the importance of knowing your worth. This plays an important part in your self-confidence.
When you know your self-worth then you will naturally stand sure of yourself.
We often forget our self-worth, especially if we are feeling extra judged, so it is important to remind ourselves of this. Some great ways that you can remind yourself of your worth is with these examples:
- leaving reminder sticky notes on your mirror.
- plan some reflective journaling time to remind yourself.
- ask a loved one to remind you.
- create a phone background reminding you.
When you are aware of the person that you are inside and all that you stand for I know you will walk much taller and feel much more confident in who you are.
True Self Confidence
In order to really feel confident in yourself, you can’t just put on a slim fitting outfit, makeup and high heels and expect to be a confident person because it is only a temporary solution.
To become a confident person you have to work on your inner self.
I have given you 7 daily habits that you can implement to help you feel truly confident in yourself and by following them on a daily basis you are sure to see change.
I hope that you enjoyed learning these tips and I would love to hear about what difference they made in how confident you feel. Leave me a comment below letting me know which step helped you the most!