You are a courageous, beautiful and unique person and the world needs a person like you.
Through this self-esteem journey and in the first lesson How To Improve Your Self Esteem, you have learned how to discover the truth about your fears, hurts, and circumstances through your life that have created a negative self-esteem. You have learned how to work through the bad habits that have come from protecting yourself from hurt and instead exposing them to bring healing.
In lesson 2 Taking The Right Steps, you discovered your self-worth and how it brings you the power to take a hold of your life to create change in a positive way. You have learned to forgive from the hurt and change the negative self-talk into positive self-talk to build up your self-esteem, you learned how to create good habits and why it’s important to take time for yourself.
You have chosen to make a positive change in your life by realizing that your self-esteem plays a big part in your happiness and ability to grow.
Now, in lesson 3, you are going to learn How To Be An Example to others and why this is an important step in your own self-esteem journey.
How To Be An Example
One area when working on improving your self-esteem that a lot of people don’t think about is being an example for others. Choosing to put yourself out there and share how your positive self-esteem is improving your day to day life not only helps others to realize this for their life, but it also helps you to feel better about your self.
Have you taken notice when you have been around someone who radiates positivity? How has it made you feel? Does it lift you up and inspire you to be more positive?
I know for myself, especially when I am having a hard day, being around a positive and uplifting person completely turns my day around.
On the other hand, some days I don’t need positivity, I just need someone to talk to who can understand and sympathize with how I am struggling. This helps me to cope and to feel supported which is also an important thing to have. I know you understand what I am talking about.
Having someone around you that has a positive self-esteem can make an impact in your life, and the exciting thing about this knowledge is that you can be that person for others. You can share love and knowledge on what it means to embrace your inner beauty and how it helps you to focus on the positive things in your life.
I hope you feel inspired to be this person as it comes with great benefits. There are three main elements of being an example for others that helps feed your self-esteem.
1. Doing Unto Others
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This basically means treating others in the way that you would want to be treated.
I am sure you have heard this many times in your life, but the message is so powerful. If everyone treated each other in the way that they wanted to be treated then there wouldn’t be so much misunderstanding and conflict between people. There would be less hurt and self-esteem would naturally be higher.
One great lesson that I have learned in this area is about not assuming the worst of people. If you are like a lot of people who struggle with self-esteem then you will probably understand what it is that I am talking about. It is another bad habit that comes from how we have been hurt in our past. It is a way to protect ourselves from being hurt again, except that it is another false message. Learning this lesson can be a powerful tool for you.
The key thing to remember here that I ask you to really sink in is that most people have good intentions. This is something that I used to really struggle with that would create a lot of anxiety. I would always feel as though I was being judged. Therefore I would respond and react to people as though they were judging me. This made my relationships unpleasant. It would cause conflict that wasn’t there, and distance with those that I really cared about having in my life.
If I could have had the understanding, as I do now, that I was misreading them and that it is my own insecurities that are the issue, then I could have been less focused on trying to protect myself, needing to explain things and stand my ground, and instead I could have focused on being understanding and loving. This would have probably resulted in what I really desired, to have closer and stronger relationships. When it really came down to it, if I am being honest, I was judging them.
I was guilty of doing the exact thing to others that I was wanting them to not do to me. How does this make any sense? I know better now, and I find that when I make an extra effort to connect with those in my life and make them feel cared about in the way that I would like to be cared about then it makes me feel better and happier and my relationships are much more positive.
I encourage you to be brave. Set a goal for your self to reach out to someone who you can be a positive role model for. Show them you care and that your relationship with them is important to you.
2. Share Love
The world can be a very dark and nasty place at times but even one caring person can make a difference in many peoples lives. If all of those people who were affected by that one person then had a change of heart and shared the same care for others, then it would multiply many times over and a lot of peoples lives could be affected for the better. It is hugely important to love others and be a caring person. If you embrace this then you will feel that you are making a positive difference in the world and this is so good for your self-esteem.
So often it is made out as though self-esteem is only about improving ourselves, and while that’s the base of it, we simply cannot be truly successful without thinking of those around us and what we are giving out. Once again, treating others as we would want to be treated.
I remember one time that I was shown a lot of care by a stranger that brought me to tears right in the moment.
When my oldest was around 11 months old he hurt his foot. He was crawling around everywhere at this point and would never sit in one spot. I would have to do a lot of house chores while he explored around that part of the house. One day I was vacuuming the carpet using the hose part with the attachment. Unfortunately, our vacuum is old and when using the hose part, the spinning part on the base of the vacuum continues to spin. I didn’t know that at the time as I had never taken notice before. As I was leaning over vacuuming something up with the base of the vacuum behind me, my son came over and pulled the base part onto his foot. As the spinning part was going and came into contact with his foot it took off quite a few layers of skin where there wasn’t any muscle. It was a very scary moment for me, and obviously, he was upset as he was hurt.
This was the first time anything accident wise had happened to him and all I could think about was taking him to the doctor as fast as I could. As I rushed into the walk-in clinic I noticed the packed room full of sick and injured people and I knew that the wait would be hours. I was holding my son in my arms with his hurt foot exposed and him screaming and I found myself beginning to have a panic attack. As I grabbed a waiting number to be checked in, just as I went to sit down, someone’s name was called. Instead of checking in, as they were there since the beginning and had waited a while already, they came to me and gave me their number and took mine. They chose to let me and my son go in to see the doctor right then. They saved us hours of waiting and panic. I couldn’t help but cry thank you to them as it was not something that I expected to happen but I appreciated more than anything at that moment.
There are so many different wonderful ways that you can show love and care for others that you can implement in your day to day life.
Here are some examples of how you can make a difference in someone’s day:
- Buy a random stranger a coffee
- Send a personalized handwritten note in the mail to someone who has made an impact in your life
- Offer to give someone a free ride
- Help an elderly person with their groceries
- Volunteer at a homeless shelter
- Cut your neighbours’ lawn for them
- Offer to babysit for some new parents to give them a couple hours break
- Let someone ahead of you in a lineup
- Pay someone a compliment
- Return a shopping cart for someone
- Take a dinner to someone in need
- Send an “I’m thinking of you today” text
- Do some extra chores around the house
- Give someone a hug
These are simple but very effective ways that you can show someone that you care with little to no money or effort but can turn their day around.
3. Be Open
The most important part of being an example that is my personal favourite to work on is about being open. This means being transparent with people about who you are and the circumstances that you have been through.
I like this one because it’s scary and I enjoy doing things that are scary but will come with rewards. Letting others see you for who you really are inside, puts you in a vulnerable place as you are giving them the opportunity to judge you. However, if you have been working through all of the self-esteem building steps that I have laid out for you, then you will already know your worth and therefore their judgement on you won’t affect you.
Also, knowing that most people have good intentions, as I talked about above, lets you know that you have less to fear. Likely the person won’t be judging you and instead be more keen to build a relationship with you.
Being open and honest with people gives you the opportunity to show someone that they are not alone in their struggles.
We all need support in our lives, and if you have had the opportunity to overcome some challenges big or small, then you could be a support for someone else who is going through that challenge.
The reward here is that you could make a tremendous difference in their lives. They could be moved by your openness and your personal story of how you got to where you are that it could encourage them to step out in the way that you have done, and it could help better their lives.
One topic, that is a sensitive one that I have personally experienced, is miscarriage. Between my first son and my second son, I experienced 4 miscarriages. It was a rough journey at the time, but I was able to overcome the challenge and ended up being blessed with my second baby. I like to be open about this story in my life because I know that a lot of women have experienced miscarriage and I want to be able to be a support for them.
Allowing myself to be open about this topic gives me the opportunity to bring comfort for those dealing with miscarriage. I am able to be an understanding ear for them to talk to, or to offer advice where they are looking for advice. I could potentially help them from slipping into depression or giving up hope and instead encourage them to keep trying or be a shoulder to cry on when they are ready to move on.
If I would want support and advice from someone who has been through what I have been through, then I would want to do the same for someone myself.
Being open about the struggles you have faced can be very scary at first, but with practice, you will see the difference that you are making in someone else’s life.
Be Brave Being You
Being open about who you are and the journey you have been through really does feel good. If you can make the difference in one person’s life by being open, honest and showing you care, then you can be proud of the person that you are. You have the opportunity to be brave and say “my story is worth sharing”.
I challenge you to step out and show others the goodness in your heart. Be a support, take care of your relationships and remember that you can make a difference.
Be sure to read parts 1 and 2 of my How To Improve Your Self Esteem Blog Series if you have not read them yet. You can read both parts through the links below.
Learn how to uncover the truth about your self-esteem, where you have been hurt in the past, discovering bad habits and understanding the truth behind your fears.
Read more HERE: How To Improve Your Self Esteem | Blog Series Part 1
Learn the right steps you need to take in order to improve your self-esteem by knowing your worth, learning to forgive, changing your narrative, creating good habits and doing things for yourself.
Read more HERE: Taking The Right Steps | Self Esteem Blog Series Part 2
Leave me a comment below letting me know of your favourite ways to show someone that you care and what story you have to share.