When it comes to spending time checking in with how you are doing on the self-esteem scale, where do you lie? Do you find your self too busy and too stressed to think about it? Or do you make sure to plan some you time into your week?
Are you committed to making self-esteem check-in’s a priority or are you not sure of the need?
In Part 4 of my How To Improve Your Self Esteem Blog Series I am going to talk about Why It’s Important To Focus On Your Self Esteem.
You are aware that self-esteem is important. You have heard it many times before and been told about some ways that you can improve your self-esteem. But are you aware of how important it is to focus on it by making it a priority and how to do that?
In the first 3 parts of my Blog series, I taught you about the first 3 core elements of improving your self-esteem.
Through Lesson 1, How To Improve Your Self Esteem, we talked about what it means to Be Aware of your self-esteem and being ready to make the change.
In Lesson 2, I explained how to Take The Right Steps in order to improve your self-esteem in your daily life.
And in Lesson 3, I showed you How To Be An Example for others and why it’s important in your self-esteem journey.
Now I want to give you the knowledge on why making self-esteem check-ins is important and ways that you can hold yourself accountable.
Keeping Your Eyes In The Right Place.
Learning the steps and gaining advice on how to improve your self-esteem is all important and a large part of your self-esteem journey. However, in order to make it through the tough days when you are feeling low, and knowing where to look when you need a little extra reminder of this message, is what is going to help you in the long run.
Choosing to focus in these next areas is very important and is essentially the backbone of the whole thing. This is what will help keep you strong and moving forward.
1. Have A Support Network
Having a support network is essential. It is where your safe place is. Where you can go when you feel that you are starting to slip or just barely holding on.
There are many people surrounding you who care for you. They are there because they want to love and support you. If they didn’t then they wouldn’t there. These people want to help keep you strong and give you advice and direction when you let them.
Sometimes it can be so hard letting yourself be vulnerable and transparent with people, especially the ones that you look up to or that seem, on the outside, as though they aren’t struggling the way that you are.
It can be hard to tell them, let alone say out loud, the ways that you aren’t perfect or where you have slipped up. I understand lovely. You are not alone in this.
Start by reminding yourself that we all struggle with this at some point in our lives. We are not meant to do the hard stuff or simply live life alone.
Once you can accept that you need support then it’s time to be brave and find it.
Maybe you already have some close friends to talk to or maybe you are close to a parent. If so then great! You can ask them to offer advice or support where you feel you need it.
If you aren’t in the habit of seeing some girlfriends for coffee or chatting on the phone, then I highly recommend starting to do this. Girls need girlfriends. It’s just a fact. Girls understand each other in ways that no man can. Don’t rely on your boyfriend or hubby for girl talk because they can’t give you what you need.
Are you in need of some girlfriends but don’t know where to start looking? Try looking for a book club you can join, or local coffee hang out. Are you in a Facebook group full of women? Be brave and ask if anyone wants to get together!Knowing when to seek professional support can prevent a lot of damage to your self-esteem.Click To Tweet
A lot of people have a fear around talking to a counsellor. There is this idea that they are only there for when someone is basically broken and are either causing self-harm or harm to others.
This stigma needs to change because it is not what they are there for. Councillors are there to help counsel you through something you are struggling with. That means that they are another type of support for you when you are feeling lost.
You are not a perfect person and there for you always have areas to work on and a counsellor can help you with those areas.
When I realized that my anxiety was affecting my daily life I decided that it was very important for me to see a counsellor. I know so many other people around me who were also struggling with anxiety and yet I didn’t see them doing anything about it other than “trying to cope”. All I kept hearing was that it was a lifelong struggle that they were dealing with.
I did not want to deal with anxiety forever and didn’t want to find temporary solutions to make the anxiety go away, I wanted to be healed from it. I wanted to understand why my body was having these reactions. So I needed a professional to give me these answers.
I can without a doubt say that it was the smartest thing that I did. It taught me so much about how my mind works and why my body was having anxiety attacks. I learned how to overcome the anxiety by working through what was causing it and how to gain true relief.
If you are struggling in any way, even if it seems like a small issue to you, then I urge you to talk to a professional. Having as much support as possible and before you are ready to give up is imperative.
There are many people and places that you can go to for support in whatever you are working on, whether it’s something that you are struggling with or something you want encouragement in.
Here are some places and people that you can look to for support:
- One or a group of girlfriends
- A parent or guardian
- A counsellor or psychologist
- Local Church
- Family doctor
- Local Shelter or Support House
- Non-Profit Self Help Organization
- Self Help Support group through Facebook
There are some amazing support sites that I have gathered together and shared on my Resource page. If you are looking for extra support or information then please check out these resources HERE: https://www.believinginbeautyblog.com/resources/
2. Learn To Dream
Are you aware of how planning the future helps your self-esteem?
Often times, those who are really struggling with self-esteem tend to either focus on the negative parts of their past or on the negative parts of the present. It’s usually what they have been through or what they are going through.
While it is important to talk about and work through your struggles, spending time focusing on them can and will only continue to hurt your self-esteem. Lingering on them too long can do some more serious damage such as causing depression and/or anxiety. However, I encourage you to spend some time periodically focusing on your future.
No, you can’t know what your future will bring, and unfortunately, you can’t avoid unpleasant circumstances that life brings, but you can choose to set goals for yourself and dream of a future that brings fulfilment. This is what I encourage you to make time for.
Are you in need of a vacation? Plan a realistic vacation that you can work towards saving for. Maybe you are feeling stuck in a job with no benefits? Research for jobs that would interest you that you could imagine yourself doing.
Whatever excites you or interests you, believe for a moment, that you could do it and spend time dreaming about it. Write it down in a place that you can look back on. Gather together some pictures and make a dream board. Tell someone you care about what you imagine doing with your life or in your future.
Learning to dream and plan like this will lift your spirit. It will help you to see that you have areas to move forward in and to bring new and exciting things into your daily life. The more you do this, the less you will spend time staying still and obsessing about the things that you cannot change.
3. Find Positive Role Models
Unfortunately, we live in a media-driven world that is constantly bombarding us with images of what we “should” look like. Everything from models on the runway to the new celebrity body weight loss programs. Images that tell how to look a certain way in a short amount of time, or if we wear certain things then we will attract a lot of attention.
It is incredibly sad how much we are swayed into believing these false promises.
The percentage of women that can actually look like a model is incredibly low. Naturally, women’s body’s aren’t meant to look like models. We are meant to have hips and legs that are designed to carry children, and whether or not you end up carrying children, it does not exchange for the fact that your body is designed for that.
Every woman’s body is unique and beautiful.
Why do we have to feel bad that our body doesn’t look like someone else’s? Just because someone said that tall and skinny should be “popular” doesn’t mean that short and curvy should be unpopular. In fact, did you know that upwards of 67% of women are curvy? Does that not mean that curvy is the more “popular” one? Somehow, with all of these curvy women walking around, all that they seem to be noticing is the skinny ones.
Thankfully, I do believe that times are changing in the media with this, but not as fast as what would be ideal. The message shouldn’t be “look like this” it should be “show us what you got! Embrace you.”
In order to keep your self-esteem high, you need to stop looking at what you don’t have and start looking at what you do have! Let’s use social media for good and put out our unique qualities so that if someone else shares a similar quality then we can be a support for each other.
This is where you can look for positive role models. If you are a curvy woman, don’t look at what a skinny woman is wearing as it likely won’t look the same or flattering on your figure. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just two women with different body types. Don’t make yourself feel bad about the way you look, find inspiration for outfits from someone with the same body type as you.
I suggest making note of some celebrities, or influencers that have the same body type as you and gain inspiration from what they like to wear. I promise you that if you start doing this that you will feel better about shopping for clothes and beauty products, and more inspired to see what great looks you can create!
Wear things that make you feel good about your body and share it. Cause lovely, you deserve to feel good about the way you look! Maybe you could be an inspiration for someone else who shares your qualities.
On a side note. If you are a woman who doesn’t care too much about what’s popular in magazines, or “what’s the new sexy”, but you are struggling with low self-esteem, I encourage you to look for positive role models in areas that do interest you.
Maybe you are a businesswoman? Find an inspiring entrepreneurial woman that you can look up to and gain tips from. Or, if you have passion in making a positive difference in the world, find women in history that have done this that you can learn about and feel motivated by. Find someone that you share qualities with that feeds your self-esteem.
Choosing What’s Best For You
No one made you reflect negatively on your body, past, or present circumstances. We could say that the media and other negative worldly influences guided us towards making this bad habit, but in truth, you were the one who listened and was swayed into believing all the false messages.
The positive thing is that you now have the knowledge and power to start choosing differently. You can change where you put your focus and what messages you choose to believe. I know that you are strong enough and smart enough to make the switch and choose where to focus that will help build up your self-esteem.
When you aren’t feeling so strong or feel a little more swayed towards the false promises, remember to turn to your support network. Those who love and care about you will remind you of your worth and how beautiful your unique qualities are.
I hope that I gave you some inspiration and things to think about in this post and that you will take time to focus on the areas of importance that build up your self-esteem.
Who are the positive role models in your life and how do they inspire you? Leave me a comment below!
If you have not read the first 3 parts of this blog series then you can through the links below!
Learn how to uncover the truth about your self-esteem, where you have been hurt in the past, discovering bad habits and understanding the truth behind your fears.
Read more HERE: How To Improve Your Self Esteem | Blog Series Part 1
Learn the right steps you need to take in order to improve your self-esteem by knowing your worth, learning to forgive, changing your narrative, creating good habits and doing things for yourself.
Read more HERE: Taking The Right Steps | Self Esteem Blog Series Part 2
Learn how to be a positive example to others by doing unto others, sharing love and being open about who you are.
Read more HERE: How To Be An Example | Self Esteem Blog Series Part 3