Dear younger Elizabeth,
I am writing this letter to you as I sit at my desk and think about the life that we have lived so far. I vividly remember sitting like this when I was your age thinking about where I would be when I got to where I am now in my life. This year I turn 30 and with it comes a lot of self-reflection, desire for growth and discovering my heart at a rawer level. I know that you have a lot of fear about what your life will look like when you get to where I am, so lovely, I am here to bring you the truth and good news about your life and important things to remember as you walk our journey.
I know that right now you feel lost and the weight that you carry. I know the questions that you have about why you don’t make friends easily, why you always seem to be targeted by mean girls, and why you never feel pretty or good enough. I know how you wonder about what your life will look like in the future and if the dreams that you seek will become reality. I know how deeply misunderstood you feel, that inside all you want is to connect with others, experience the wonders that God had created and to feel a sense of acceptance, but that it feels out of reach and you don’t know why.
I know that sometimes it feels like everyone around you has what you want and that it hurts when you don’t get to have it. I know that it feels like you are waiting forever for things to change and get better.
Deep breath, darling. Your time is coming soon enough, you just have some growing to do first. But know that it’s a good thing. You will get to learn lessons that many people never learn that you will get the opportunity to share about. You will be able to appreciate what you have instead of always longing for what you don’t have, and you will be able to see blessings all around you in your daily life.
You see, God has given you a desire for connection and wants to bring this into your life through sharing about his love. So when it feels like everyone around you misunderstands you or doesn’t see you, know that God does and that HE is preparing you to have the connections that you seek and your hearts true desires.
Along the way, you will make choices that will feel like they were the wrong ones to make. You will have to face some big questions about where your life is going and if you are going to try to control it or let God lead the way. But over time you will learn to look at your heart and be reminded that you were fearfully and wonderfully made and that God wants to bless you in many ways if you let him.
In your mid 20’s you will let God lead your way and through HIS grace you will meet the man of your dreams and produce beautiful children that bring you joy every day. They will teach you about true beauty, patience, kindness, hard work, sacrifice and to stop caring about the meaningless material things.
Remember, when you feel not so beautiful or worthless in others eyes, that you are beautiful inside and out in Gods eyes. You don’t need to be accepted by others or to look like others because your uniqueness is what makes you special. You will feel called to share the message of true love and beauty and what it means to accept yourself the way God made you.
I know that it’s so easy to be hard on yourself when you screw up, and the guilt that you feel for the relationships that you hurt and ones that you cared so much about. But know that I forgive you for those choices you made. Don’t dwell on them but instead, learn to show more care towards your relationships in the future. Nurture them and remember to make an effort even if you feel scared of rejection. Remember that the only opinion that’s important is God’s and he loves you no matter what.
Remember that everything you have been through and will go through is only going to make you a stronger and wiser person. All your negative feelings you had towards yourself since a young age will be proven wrong and God will speak the truth into your life. Trust in his love for you always and you will have everything you need.